Yesterday afternoon was rather special. My date with Mr Goo was suitably exhausting so I did what anyone would have done, yes, that’s right, paperwork! What I should have done was get myself a nice big glass of wine and a warm bath to sit in until I was drunk enough not to care about doing it. Yes, that would have been perfect. See, if I wasn’t so damn slow, that would have been exactly what I would have done, but as it happened, I didn’t manage to think of that until after I’d finished.
With my job there is a form for just about everything. Someone out there must be quivering with anticipation while they await the fruits of my labour. I’m picturing a small, hunched up old man with his glasses perched on the end of his nose. Of course, he comes complete with a dark green sweater vest and a box of cigars. Although, I may be thinking too fancy. There’s also the chance that he’s rather more hobbit like.
Being the neat, organized little being that I am, I keep all my forms in a giant pink file on my desk. If anyone is up for a little theft, please, feel free to remove it from my possession. I’d be more than happy to help you locate it. As I open the file I’m met with the sheer blinding power of bright white paper combined with the vomit inducing effect of very tiny, black text. My eyes, they lacked protection! Now, I might be neat and organized but it doesn’t mean I’m not lazy. The glasses may lie where the were thrown earlier. I shall brave the journey without my little eye-buddies.
And so I begin. You should have seen me. Ladies and gentlemen, I was flying through those check boxes like lightning. Well, Ana shaped lightning but lets not get technical. By the time I was close to finishing I looked up and realized the room was spinning. Or I was, I forget. My eyes were rebelling like the naughty teenagers they are. My beautiful peepers were getting cranky and rewarding me with nothing but I migraine. “Fine” I said as I grabbed a bottle of water and some migraine junk I pulled out of thin air. Or maybe that was a draw, I’m not too sure. With a small hop, skip and a jump I was tucked up in bed too tired to move.
Bed, yes bed, is the most wonderfulist place on earth. I get myself all snuggled up and comfy and then, as if by magic, the noise starts. I’m not entirely sure what was going on but it did sound awfully like they were digging up the sidewalk. All I can say is the torture didn’t last as long as I was expecting. Whatever I took knocked me out rather quickly. Drugs or perhaps just brain melting exhaustion. Either way, I was harder to wake up than Mr Goo.
I tend to sleep very lightly but in the unlikely event my “ignoring the phone” skills kick in, I leave my cell under my pillow while I’m making Z’s. Usually it’s enough but for once, I managed to sleep through all four calls I got from work. When I woke up at 2am I wasn’t quite sure what had woken me up but all seemed well in my “pad.” A quick check round the room, small dog asleep on top of the big dog, none of the plants had grown legs and attempted to run away and the pillows were all still on the bed. So, I got myself something to drink and jumped onto my laptop to finish a report since it didn’t look terribly like I was going to be able to make more Z’s. After about an hour I went back to sleep. Mmm zZzzZzzzzZZZzzZZZ.
I managed to get up, do my sparkly girly morning things and get to work. Again, I was reminded of why I don’t use the subway unless I have to. I prance into work still all sparkly and girly only to find that actually, they’d been calling me all night. Anyway, after much apologising my supervisor magically appeared in his usual, animated puff of smoke. Bracing myself I prepared for the yelling to begin but to my amazement, all I got was an “Are you okay? I was getting worried” instead. I see, time for that huge inner smug grin. Okay, I’m slightly disappointed because it was a really good call but whatever. Sleep > work.
You’ll all be pleased to know I’m done rambling for today.
Toodles!
