As always, this post is rife with cynicism.
I’ve been walking around for weeks mumbling about how much I hate people but I finally realized it’s not quite that simple. I’ve worked out that there are two kinds of people, at least for this theory to really work.
The first type of person is one who you encounter but never actually meet. These are the people you do something small for, like the extra minute you wait at a crossing so the lady with the three kids, the dog and the shopping can get across without having to wait for the next white man. They probably won’t give your action a second thought but it never hurts to do it. I mean, they didn’t ask you to do anything and you don’t expect anything in return… You do something nice and that’s it, you’re done.
The second type of person is one you have a relationship with, and not just a romantic one. These are the people you know and care about… These people are the ones I hate. It seems that whenever I try and do something nice for one of these people, it comes back and bites me in the ass. Apparently, if you want to be a good friend; never do anything nice, always remember to throw good deeds back in the givers face, make their life unnecessarily difficult and, wherever possible, screw your friend over by taking credit for their work.
Finally, there is a secret third type of person. These people are the people who really matter and the people who I feel safe and happy with. My parents (even if they are completely insane, especially that mother thing), my boyfriend who I plan on embarrassing later in this post and a somewhat small but special group of assorted relatives and friends are all in this “group.” For these people, I will do anything. For everyone else, there’s mastercard?
As a side note, I was going to put the following into a post of its own but as it somehow ties into what I’ve already written, I may as well just put it here. There’s that, and the fact I wouldn’t want to spoil anyone by making too many posts!
The person who the following rambling is directed at falls, or at least fell, in between the second and third groups… Now, though, I’m not quite sure where they fit it. To the person who knows who they are:
I’m posting this here because I know that at some point, you’ll read it. I noticed you’d been “checking up” on me today - if, by some small miracle, you happen to find your balls, maybe you could just email me and ask how things were going but until then, dig this:
I am sick of people who behave like you. People who walk around with their heads so far up their asses, they walk all over everyone else without a second thought. It would almost be forgivable if you didn’t take pleasure from it. I mean, you said it yourself “I’m doing it for my happiness” - It doesn’t really get much clearer than that, eh?
I don’t need to yell or kick or scream because I know that I have done nothing wrong. It’s all on you. It’s your guilt, your upset, your mistake… It’s your life and you can stomp on whoever you want but know that one day, when you need one of those people, they won’t be there to save you. You have no idea just how much that comforts me…
Owing to the fact I have dinner plans and am yet to even get as far as changing out of my pajamas, I’m happy to jump right into my pants. (I apologize for the poor choice of words - on all levels)
- The first, almost big thing that’s happened to me recently is that I have [yet another] new boytoy at my mercy. We met at work (which seems to be the place I meet a lot of people right now) and, after he tolerated many months of my knitting, we ended up together. [Anyone who has no idea what the knitting means should click here now.] It all just… sort of happened, in a good way of course. While I could write thousands of things about him, the risk of vomit inducing cliche is just far too high. Maybe, when I can afford a bucket for each person subjected to my boyfriend related ramblings, I’ll post more about him.
- That brings me neatly to my next almost big thing. I have a new job, finally. It means that I’ll be working in a nice environment (even if it does have that weird hospital smell), with nicer people, nicer hours and much nicer pay. I really can’t figure out why I didn’t try this sooner.
- Generally, in fact, things are all falling into place. For the most part, I think the fact I’m far less stressed helps enormously… I have a few weekends away planned for the next couple of months - just as soon as I get new passports (Yes, I have two), the arrangements for moving to England are almost finished and finally, I have a shot at making enough money to be able to pay for college [in London].
- None of that really matters if I can’t survive these next few months living in New York. In the last week, here are a few reasons why driving around here will result in death:
1. Many drivers cannot “make out the shapes” well enough to be able to drive independently and so feel the need for the front of their car to be touching the back of the car in front. For the majority of these drivers, the vehicle of choice is an SUV - of course such a thing is essential to survival in the harsh environment that is Manhattan.2. When you can see the car in front of you stopping at a crossing, the unwritten rule seems to be hit the gas then the breaks as hard as possible, bringing you to a stop a mere 1/16″ away from the vehicle ahead of you.3. An emergency vehicle in the immediate area is an excuse to change lanes without checking your mirrors or even looking out the window. The crunching metal you can hear? The car you just crashed into. In these instances, it is standard procedure to hit the horn and blame the incident on the other driver. Giving the finger is also strongly suggested.4. Many drivers will approach an intersection and not think about slowing down, changing into the correct lane or even giving a turn signal. Instead they will race through the many lanes of traffic cutting across the paths of other cars and swerve erratically into a side street without warning. This is perfectly acceptable especially if you can knock down a couple of pedestrians too.
Normal blogging service shall now resume.
